So this is what freedom feels like


So in less than a month I will be celebrating my one year anniversary of being a non-practicing bulimic which is just a fancy way of saying I haven’t thrown up in a year. I mean I’ve thought about it, I’ve come close to it, and I’ve still had more uncontrollable binge episodes than I would like to, but for almost 365 days I haven’t actually, physically made myself throw up after eating, and that’s a huge step for me as I enter into this recovery period. I haven’t exactly been screaming it from the rooftops but I think that most people close to me are aware of this fact. I was the chubby girl in high school who discovered dieting and then extreme dieting in college which before I realized how slippery a slope I was treading found myself doing the tango with bulimia, a dance that has lasted close to 15 years.

When things were at their worst, I was committed to a facility where I had my daily meal intakes monitored, I saw countless shrinks, I had to “drop out” of grad school, I almost got kicked out of the house I was living in at the time and I even lost a few teeth. My life has been forever changed because of this disease.

So when I look at where I am now, I must say that I have a lot of reasons to celebrate. I feel like now I can start to work on getting healthy, and possibly fit, in a healthy way. I no longer lose time, money, peace of mind to this disease and the closer I get to the 1 year mark the more I start to really believe that there is a life, a beautiful life, waiting ahead for me, if I can just manage to keep going.

And so I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who never stopped believing in me even when I had resigned myself to fate and believed that I would never be able to utter those words ever again, “bulimia-free”. And I want to encourage everyone reading this that no matter what your struggle is in life it can be overcome. I hope that you find the strength to keep going, I hope that you are surrounded by love to carry you even when you don’t think that you can make it, and I hope that some day soon, you cross that line and that just as I am doing today, that you will have every reason to celebrate.

Keep on going!




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